Do the right thing or lose a friend?Tuesday, April 28, 2009
My children had to make some tough decisions at an early age. One scenario stands out the most:
It’s been a year since my 13yo had to make the toughest decision (for now).
A best friend confided of using drugs. My 13yo was shocked and hurt. He was upset and couldn’t understand how that could have happened to someone he loves.
(For the purpose of this story, I will name the friend, “Jose”).
In my 13yo’s heart, he knew he had to do something to save Jose. To make it more difficult to my 13yo, Jose also said the following:
“ I know where you live. I know a lot of people who has guns and who are strong enough to inflict hurt in you and your family.”
I still remember that day. I knew immediately that something was wrong. As a mother, you have that feeling that something's not right. It seems like mothers have a radar system. I guess the umbilical cord is still connected in a way!
My 13yo (then 12) came home and started crying. He told me and his father what happened. We couldn’t believe what we were hearing so we asked him some details. After telling our son that he did the right thing by telling us, my husband and I immediately went to action: Without my 13yo knowing, my husband and I did the following:
1) My husband and I both agreed that we had to inform Jose's parents;
2) We wrote them a note (anonymous) since we didn't know how they would react;
3) We posted the note to their door that very night;
4) The next day, my husband and I went to the principal's office and told of the situation. We asked the principal to verify and to help the child. We also informed him of the letter - just in case the parents did not get it.
Those were just the few steps that we took. My 13yo was threatened but most unfortunately, he lost a friend. NOT all his friends who knew of Jose's situation spoke up. They even felt betrayed that my 13yo abandoned his friendship with Jose. A lot has happened since that day - that week, that month!
I'm bringing this up only because my 13yo just recently mentioned how he felt that maybe he let his friend down. After that incident, the 2 boys had a falling out.
It's tough to be a kid, especially a teenager. We're just lucky that our 13yo opened up and asked for guidance and help.