What do I want to be?
Who am I?
Why do I feel the way I feel?
How in the world...?
Months before we even sounded our first cry, people and
society have already waged their expectations.
Some might even say that even before we are conceived, our destiny has already been predetermined.
Some might even say that even before we are conceived, our destiny has already been predetermined.
Do we live our lives because someone dictates who
we are supposed to be?
Or no matter how we resist, the person we are to be -- eventually emerge?
Is our happiness dependent on what society dictates
happiness means?
Do you even know what it is that makes you happy?
A lot has happened in my nearly 49 years. And looking back,
I was mostly happy -- well, scratch that, I was generally happy.
I am not one to have a bucket list because there's only one
thing that motivates my day-to-day, and that is to live a happy simple life .
But what happy and simple to me may not be happy and simple
for others.
Acceptance. It
took almost 5 decades for me to accept what I want to be -- and what I am meant
to be. Yes, there are moments that my mind plays that "If only I were
..." way of thinking. But once I accept that there are limits to what I
can possibly do or be, my day to day becomes happy and simple.
Gratitude. Yes,
there is always something to be thankful for. If everyday I remind myself of
the few things I am thankful for, the little detours that I might encounter in
that day won't feel like a disappointment but just the way of life. I learn to
believe that if we are thankful for who we are and what we have, we'll end up
being happier and having so much more. If we focus our energy on who we aren't
and what we don't have, then we'll end up being grumpy and left feeling depleted, never ever having enough.
Choice. Life is
simpler when we are not attached to things. When I do things without
expectations, for some reason, things get done. When my choices are
concentrated on the end-result, the level
of stress is beyond acceptable. However, when I chose to do a task and
focus on the task itself without any preconceived notion of what the by product
is - surprisingly the end result is pure happiness.
Love. Such a
powerful feeling. To love God and love others -- that's the golden rule, right?
Wrong! I learned that we have to learn how to love our own self before we can
even think of truly loving God or loving others. If I can't truly appreciate
who I am or if I don't love who I am and who I can be -- how can I express true
love?
Truth. "To thy own self be true." I keep saying
that since I started my journey to find myself -- sometime 40 years ago. And
yet, every time my youngest child hear me say those words, he laughs because he
can't even imagine what it's like not to be true to one's self.
Sigmund Freud introduced me to the 3 parts of our
psyche: Id, Ego and Superego - instinct, reality and conscience. But what I learned is that sometimes we attach artificial definitions to "What works" and "what doesn't" , definitions that have nothing to do with "what's really so."
I started accepting the truth of who I was, who I am and who I can be. And because of that, I look forward to living a happy, simple life.
I started accepting the truth of who I was, who I am and who I can be. And because of that, I look forward to living a happy, simple life.
This morning was one of those beautiful snowy days in March -- a day to be thankful for. After not having the time to actually enjoy and see the outside world, choosing to zenwalk this morning with my friend was one of this month's simple pleasures.
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