making a big fuss about nothing…living for tomorrow instead of for today?

Monday, October 11, 2010

Are you the kind of mom that worries too much about their children?

Are you a helicopter mom (someone who’s micromanaging every little detail of her child’s life) ?
Are you someone who freaks out about a few changes in your child’s schedule?

As a mother, I try to teach my children to be independent. My first two children are already in college but my two younger ones are in high school and grade school. All my four children have a hectic schedule, but my 15yo on the other hand is on a different level of “hectic”!

As parents, we encourage our children to follow their dreams – emphasis on “their”. The only way for them to be happy is to live their day to day in accordance to what they want to accomplish. When the kids are younger, we tried to expose them to different aspects of life – music, arts, sports, community service.

When your kid has multiple interests, where do you draw the line?

My 15yo is one very busy teen! He already gave up a few activities because there is just not enough time! There are three things he’s still very passionate about: government and politics; taekwon-do and music!

Music takes about 90 percent of his extra time – in between teaching piano, taking lessons and recording/producing his first jazz CD. Just a couple of weeks ago, the producer told us that “most artists live, breathe and sleep the 10 songs he is recording until the album’s completed.” But of course, since my son is only 15, we shouldn’t make the whole process stressful. However, to get the CD completed, he has to focus on the 10 songs!

When there’s extra time, he gets to attend a few TaeKwon-do (TKD) lessons. And on a few occasion, he got to teach TKD to younger students. So when he asked me if he can skip one recording session to attend a high-belt class/training in Philadelphia, my initial reaction was “No way! Where will you find the time? What about your recording schedule? You'll be one week behind schedule!”

He’s been taking TKD since he was 5. He had missed quite a few sessions because of school and recording engagements. However, he really insisted on attending the training.

It would have been easier to convince him that TKD can wait, but since my husband and I disagreed, it was a tougher sell on my part.

After a few exchanges of heated arguments, I realized that I was wrong, and that my son, although 15, has the right to manage his life. It is HIS life after all! I can only guide him and make him understand the consequences of his choices, but it is up to him to make the final decision.

As it turned out, he was able to work it out. So I guess you can say that I got stressed over nothing?

Ay-yayay! Kids these days are very busy. I’m not sure if it’s because the parents are conditioned to raise the kids so that “in the future” they will have a better chance. Every thing we do seems to be geared towards the future!

Sometimes it’s easy to lose track of the fact that one has to live at the present time, too!
So I guess I just over reacted, made a big fuss about nothing.

So here’s to today: Don’t worry, be happy!

On a different topic, I want to say thank you to our new sponsors! Please take time to check them out.

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  1. A great blog today. What I learned from this incident is that it is a good idea to take a step back, breath deep and perhaps write down the pros and cons first. Also, we can't always take every life event so seriously - If we do, we will miss out on the joy that comes with the good events.
    You see, we are never too old to learn.
    Love, Mom/Grandma

  2. I really need to think about this when things get hectic. Thats why Im taking this weekend off and just spending it with the kids.

  3. Hi Jenn!

    We are looking for a home for Flat Stanley and was wondering if you are up for hosting him? Email me at

    Happy Thanksgiving!


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