I had been very sick. I was always nauseous, and for months, I couldn’t keep any food down. I had been seeing a gastroenterologist who had prescribed a few X-rays, and I was taking a lot of medication for acidity and nausea. 

One day I was rushed to the emergency room and had to be admitted to the hospital because I was totally dehydrated. Of course, as standard procedure, they took a pregnancy test. To my surprise – and to the surprise of my very concerned parents -- there I was, pregnant at 24 years old!

The news went from “Congratulations, you’re having a baby” to “Sorry, but we have to terminate the pregnancy!” My doctor told me that since I had taken all sorts of medicine and had had a few X-rays, the pregnancy had to be terminated because there was a high probability that my child would have mental and physical disabilities.

The emotions that enveloped me that day were beyond words. I didn’t know what to do. I kept whispering, “Don’t I have a say in this matter?” I was young, very sick, excited and scared all at the same time. And then as God always finds ways to work His magic, a certain obstetrician gave me options! I believed that the obstetrician was sent to me by God. He ordered a meeting with a medical specialist so that I could get a more scientific and complete assessment of the medicine I had taken and their effects on the fetus -- my baby. 

While I was staying at Elizabeth General Hospital, I shared a room with another woman. She apologized for having overheard my conversation with the gastroenterologist, and she consoled me by saying that “God will find ways.”

I didn’t know what to do. I was laying in the stark white room –shaking, feeling cold and confused. Michael had phoned in and had assured me that he would support my decision no matter what it was. His family encouraged me to pray, and they hoped for guidance and courage for me.

By the time the medical specialist came, I had calmed down – but was still unsure of what I needed to do. The medical specialist assured me that all pregnancies have risks. There were no studies that stated that the medicine I had taken would result in mental illness for my baby. The only thing she pointed out was that there was a chance my child would be born with a cleft palate.

So there I was, 95 pounds and pregnant with my first child. My baby would be the first generation to be born in this country! I wanted to do everything right. In my mind and heart, I had to take care of this child.

(excerpt from "Out of Status")



Today, that beautiful child is celebrating her 23rd birthday.  She graduated from Rutgers University last May and is now pursuing a career in nursing. She hopes to work in the maternity and neonatal department. A quiet yet dedicated girl with a huge heart. We are so proud of her.


I am beyond blessed that I chose LIFE.

Seventeen years ago, on Mother's Day, my husband and I vowed in a Jewish-Christian ceremony, "to love and honor, all the days of our lives."

In the book, "Out of Status", I immortalized my love to the man who epitomizes every woman's romantic super hero - my husband. Not only does he warms my side of the bed during winter time, not only does he make my decaf chai tea every morning -- he tries to make sure I smile every day, no matter what.

Today, my husband confirmed his title "romantic super hero", when he wrote a beautiful poem for our anniversary.





Needless to say, my day was more than complete when our four children wrote the following on our anniversary card:

    "To the greatest parents in the world who show us what love truly is -- Happy Anniversary!
       Your love is what we all wish to have someday once we are all grown up :)"

I am truly blessed! My life might have been chaotic but I definitely have reasons to count my blessings.

Three years ago, my third child wrote his first music composition which he presented to me for Mother's Day. He was about 13 when he wrote this song titled "A Song For My Mother - Awit Para Kay Nanay". He has composed quite a few songs, however, this still remains my favorite song.


This Sunday is Mother's Day. Did you know that the person who advocated for the celebration of Mother's Day died protesting against the abuse and commercialization of what the holiday had become?

The first Mother's Day celebration in the U.S. was in 1907, when Anna Javis held a memorial service for her mother.  She campaigned to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the U.S.  Finally, after 7 years, on May 8, 1914, the U.S. Congress passed a  law designating the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day. On May 9, 1914, President Woodrow Wilson issued a proclamation declaring the first national Mother's Day as a day for American citizens to show the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons died in war.

However, by the 1920s, Javis was already disappointed with the commercialization of Mother's Day. She spent all her inheritance and the rest of her life fighting what she saw was an abuse of the celebration. She decried the practice of purchasing greeting cards, which she saw as a sign of being too lazy to write a personal letter. In 1948, she was arrested for disturbing the peace while protesting against the commercialization of Mother's Day, and she finally said "...wished she would have never started the day because it became out of control..." She died later that year. (wikipedia)

Like any other holiday, sometimes we fall into the commercial aspect of the holiday and lose sight of what the celebration is about. I love receiving gifts but the best gift I believe is a letter from my child.

I love receiving personal notes from my children. Ever since they were little, I have been insisting that they write their own greeting cards - it just adds a little emotion. (It's also an excuse for me to know what they're thinking and feeling).

With the hectic schedule, sometimes I wonder if I neglect my family's needs -- and wants.


Sometimes in my journey of being a mother, I can't help wonder whether or not I'm doing the right thing...
Sometimes it's easier to grasp the complexities of child development when he is just learning how to walk.
However, I feel like it gets tougher once he starts walking on his own, makes decisions and choices without seeking my approval.
I'm always wondering, second-guessing.
But then out of a blue, he sends me a note saying how much he loves me.

I realize, kids do listen after all.

So when you're busy schlepping the kids, getting the house organized, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with the daily challenges, feeling like you don't have a single hour for yourself, and when you feel like no one's listening -- I tell you, they are listening.

Last year when I asked my second child, my 20 year old, to write the introduction for "Out of Status", I realized that we indeed survived his rebellious teenage years -- our bond was stronger! 

He was listening after all.
      
      Here's what he wrote:



My youngest (11yo), recently told me that "Motherhood is not a job. It's a gift -- a special gift!".

My oldest, who is turning 23 this month, wrote this when she was 7, and still one of my favorites:

We celebrate Mother’s Day because mothers are special.
They care for us.
They tuck us in at night.
When we are bad and when they punish us, they still love us.
They love us all the time.

They sing to us before we go to sleep.
Moms bring us to school and pick us up.
Moms give us hugs and kisses.
They wake us up and give us hugs and kisses.
When we come home after school, they are happy.
They think about us all the time.
Sometimes moms play with their kids.
They are happy for us when they see a good report card.
They help us when we are sick.
They stay with you when you are in the hospital.

Sometimes moms give babies or kids a bath.
Sometimes moms help their kids with their homework.
Sometimes moms stay with their kids at the doctor’s.

All of these and many more.

To all the mothers, Happy Mother’s Day
And to my mom – She works very HARD at home, and on Mother’s Day
She will have to relax for a LOT OF DAYS.



These are a few reasons why I look forward to Mother's Day.

From my family to yours, may you have a relaxing and lovely Mother's Day weekend. 
Put your feet up, laugh and dance together, enjoy your family and remember -- this is your special weekend.