GottaLoveMom: March 2015

Career and Family - can we have it all? Is being a stay-at-home mom a sacrifice?

Can we have it all?

What exactly “having it all” means?

Is it a sacrifice to be a stay-at-home mom?

Last month, in an interview with BabyBableRadio.com, I was asked, “What is your biggest personal sacrifice when you decided to be a stay-at-home mom? Did you regret not having it all?”

What exactly “having it all” means?

My “all” is definitely not the same as another person’s “all”.

Maybe mine sounds simple because my “all” is making sure that my family is together, happy, healthy and loved.

So is it possible to have it all?

Maybe you can eventually have all that you sought out to have – in the course of your lifetime, but to have it all in every moment of the day?

There are only 24 hours in a day. If you’re fortunate, 7 hours are spent sleeping, which leaves 17 hours of awake time.

Let’s say it takes about 1 hour to get yourself ready in the morning, and another hour to get ready for bed.

So you’re left with 15 hours.

15 hours seem a lot but if you log the things you do every day, 15 hours aren’t enough to do everything you want to accomplish for that day.

I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for almost 2 decades, and unlike the misconceptions people have of stay-at-home moms, my days aren’t spent sitting watching television, attending yoga classes or lounging. There's actually a very short window for "me" time.

Before becoming a full-time stay-at-home mom, I used to work in New York City. I was the manager of Programming at a multimillion dollar discount retail store, and there were 3 years in my life as mother, when I was a "technically" a single mom – and it was exhausting. ( I highlighted "technically" because my parents and siblings were always around to help me raise my kids.)

(one of my four precious gifts of being a mom)

Life as a working mom

My weekdays consisted of waking up early to get my 2 young children ready for school, driving 30 minutes at the Garden State Parkway to get them in time for school but because of poor planning (and poor driving skills), my children were always late. I would park my car at the NJ Transit Train station. The hour ride to NY Penn Station was the time for me to catch up on sleep. Luckily, back then, in the early 90’s there were no smart phones.