Let me start by saying that I am hover mom! My number one priority is keeping my boys safe and out of harms way. BUT, having been raised by a hover mom myself, I realize how this limits personal growth and can foster self-doubt (for the record, I do not blame my mom for being over protective. She did the best she knew how). So this is why, when it comes to being adventurous with my kids, I feel the fear and do it anyway. The cool thing is I'm learning that every time I do this, I learn a valuable lesson about life.
During a recent vacation, I decided we should go on the banana boat. You know, the inflated banana that gets dragged around by a boat that looks like its engine is about to fall apart and they drag you wayyy into the deepest part of the vast ocean? Yes, once I got my kids all excited about this I began to have "what if" doubts. What if we can’t get back on the banana and we get stranded, what if there's a shark, what if my life jacket falls of, what if we can't swim! Wait, we know how to swim. Well, you get the idea. So once again, in spite of my fear, we got on but not before I asked the "captain" to "please not tip us over". Go ahead laugh.
|My monkeys and I on the banana boat....|
Tip us he did! About 4 times. In spite of me hanging on for dear life and yelling orders at my kids as to which way to lean when the boat would take sharp turns so that we wouldn’t fall over, we fell. HARD! And we got back on and fell again and so on.
The next day after scanning my aching body, I had an epiphany. What if I had loosened my grip and allowed myself to just fall? What if I didn't try to control the outcome by barking orders at my kids as to which way to lean and just went with flow? Ah...go with flow. How often do we do this in life?
Perhaps, had I not resisted falling, my body would not be aching. Like in life, when we try to control situations, outcomes, etc. We suffer when things don't go "our way". How much smoother might the ride of life be when we stop trying to control?
In the end, all those "what ifs" never happened, I had a blast AND I'm now more aware that I want to control less and allow the flow of life to do it’s thing more instead of me struggling against it. I’m sure it will be much more peaceful and harmonious sailing.
For our next adventure, I vowed that I would chill and go with flow. Parasailing went off without a hitch!
Trust...that whatever will be will be.
Sonia Lopez Simpson - CPC, ELI-MP
Certified Life & Transition Coach