I have a very serious neuropathic sense of fear. Bad experiences leave a permanent imprint on my brain but being a mother of 4 leaves no room for being afraid.
16 years ago, my family and I went skiing.
I don't like the cold weather.
I hike mountains.
I wear flip flops.
The blessing of being able to share and discover adventures with my family, gave me the courage to put on those heavy metal boots.
That year, I couldn't tell my right from my left. I crushed into a wall as I was skiing out of the beginner's slope where 2 year olds learned how to duck walk and stop in a pizza position; and when I finally got the courage to go on the ski lift -- I fell and fractured my tail bone!
So every year since, I try to find ways not to put on the skis.
But my family can be persuasive, so every year I conquer my fears - I try, I really try.
Anxiety builds up as I put on the layers of clothing to keep me warm.
Heat spreads from my heart to my extremities as I struggle to fit into the size 9 heavy ski boots;
Pupils dilate as I step on the skis and walk towards the ski lift.
Prayers are said as I approach the landing zone.
Cheers of relief as I safely push away from the lift and ski to the side of the mountain.
But being on top of the mountain, seeing the clear skies and hearing my child's excitement give me courage to forget and remember the great times I've had skiing .
"Don't be afraid of your fears, they are not here to scare you. They're there to let you know that something is worth it." ~ C. Joybell C.
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