Complain And Then Move On

Friday, January 24, 2014

I lost something and I needed to get it back.

It had been a tough few weeks. My mind was onto something unpleasant. No matter how much I tried to mask it, my heart was heavy for reasons I couldn't put my finger on.

Whatever happened to A New Year, a new beginning?
Maybe it was the hormones. I'm turning 50 in less than 6 months, and  my body had been screaming for the past 3 years.
Maybe it was the freezing temperature. After two warm winters in New Jersey, we're finally experiencing winter once more. I had forgotten what winter was like and my Filipino bones couldn't figured out how to adjust my inner temperature.
Maybe it was the possibility of being "ill". Biopsies and lab tests had a way of making me feel anxious.
Maybe it was the uncertainty of what the future has in store for me and my family.
Maybe it was just something I had to go through.
I needed to complain.
I needed to cry.
I needed to ....WALK.

Yes, walk! A simple activity I used to do every single day.

Walking has always been therapeutic for me.

It reminds me that there's a bigger meaning to everything in my life.

It reminds me that there's plenty to be thankful for and that whenever I feel like I have nothing to offer, being outdoors under the sun reminds me that every thing has a purpose.

So I bundled up and spent a few minutes outdoors.

The chilly breeze touched my uncovered, round face.

The glacial oxygen travelled through my nostrils down to my lungs and woke up the blood cells that rushed through my veins and made me smile.

The glare of the sun and the whiteness of the snow captured my eyes and brightened the gloom that used to cloud my sight.

And it was a simple was a snowball  hitting my head and reminded me to "Snap out of it!"

Interestingly, all  I needed to do was complain, step out and then move on.

Step outside. Be free. Breathe. Stop worrying who you'll be and enjoy who you are.

Keep smiling.

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