Skip to main content

Choices



My friends who know my daughter and have had conversations with her call her an old soul.  At times, I feel like I am having a discussion with a 40-year old, not a 10-year old.

At dinner recently, she claimed that being a kid was hard because she is not allowed to make the "big choices" in her life.  When asked by her dad what these "big choices" are, she responded that she would like to vote.



 Yes, vote.

For some of us, the opportunity to vote causes some apprehension.  I have always made it a policy not to discuss who I voted for and am very reluctant to discuss politics with anyone.

I thought about this comment for a couple of days, mulling over how I could include her in this year's Presidential Election process.  After much consideration, I offered my vote to her, on the condition that she needs to watch the debates and research the candidates (with our help).  I wanted her to make an educated decision and explain to me why she wants to vote for the candidate she chooses.

After presenting her with this proposition, she looked at me blankly and said, "That's okay Mommy, you can keep your vote."  She went on to explain that she does not understand many of the topics discussed by the candidates (what she hears from the nightly news).  I said, "See that is why you need to be 18 to vote.  It is not an arbitrary age that was chosen."  It was at that point she realized that some decisions she was not ready to make.


Recently, an opportunity to take a trip to Arizona presented itself to my family.  It just so happens that the trip falls during the week that my daughter is supposed to participate in her school's state testing, the NJ ASK.  If she were to miss this week, she would be required to make up the tests the following week, essentially missing two weeks' worth of instruction.  I had traded a few e-mails with her teacher to find out if this would be too difficult for my daughter to manage should we decide to take this trip.

I fully believe that my daughter would be able to catch up with her schoolwork and not have her grades suffer.  My husband was a bit skeptical, but her teacher said they would all do everything they can to help her.  We were still undecided.

It was then that I realized we should present our daughter with the situation and let her help us make the decision.  I explained it all to her and discussed the positives and the negatives of missing that week.  She talked it through with me, shed a few tears, but came to a very mature decision that we should not take the trip.

I was a very proud momma at that point.  She had made a very hard, but mature choice.  I think she was even a bit proud of herself, despite the feeling that she was going to miss a special trip.

I guess Arizona will just have to wait for a visit from the D'Amico family.

by resident writer Gwen D'Amico
jerseycats@hotmail.com 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Completed my first 16 Week IsaBody Challenge: Believe You Have A Purpose

My family is what matters most to me.  I’m 51 and a mother of 4 (ages 14 – 26). I wanted to be healthier, more active and stronger not just for me, but for the people I love.  I wanted to set an example for my family that we each possess the tools to master our wellness and vitality. I've always been petite except when I was pregnant ( when I gained an average of 50 pounds per pregnancy - 4 times!) Over the years I had tried various diet and exercise regimens, and I did enjoy a degree of success, but the results were not to the level I hoped for, and they were somewhat short lived.   Achieving stable, long-lasting results proved stubbornly elusive.    Then when I hit menopause everything became more difficult.    My body stopped cooperating altogether, and I was constantly grumpy. My waist and hips expanded and I found myself napping in the afternoons.    I started to accept the idea that there would be this new, less vibrant version of me. I just completed my P

Immigration and Family: Will my mom ever get to see my daughter walk down the aisle

Last year when my father passed away in the Philippines, I went home and took some time to visit the U.S. Embassy in Manila to ask what the options are for my mother to return to the U.S. The consul reminded me of the 10-year travel ban. That on or after November 8, 2015 — not earlier – or 10 years after my mom, was deported in 2005 for overstaying her visa, I can email the U.S. Embassy and inquire about my mother’s approved petition. I asked if I need to file another petition, and she informed me I didn’t have to. I asked if I could… and she stopped me and said to ask everything on or after November 8, 2015. This is where I am, and where my thoughts are drifting as I celebrate this month my 16th American birthday. I am counting the months, the weeks and the days. My daughter is getting married in January 2016 and I would love to have my entire family, especially my mother, to be here when that momentous occasion happens.

SPICE-up a young child's development: social, physical, intellectual, creative and emotional

Children are the precious gems of a family. When they’re young and innocent, they are like sponges that willingly and quickly absorb any knowledge and emotion. That’s why at an early age, we encourage our children to read, be creative, be happy and feed their curiosity. With all the technology and instant gratification that children get from playing video or computer games, asking a child to read a good book has been a challenge for some parents .     “Your children are not your children.       They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.       They come through you but not from you,       And though they are with you, and yet they belong not to you.       You may give them your love but not your thoughts,        For they have their own thoughts.        You may house their bodies but not their souls,        For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,        which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.” -                     Kahlil Gibr

Helping others surpass their goals and expectations

"It's not about the end goal. It's who you become by consistently pushing to the edge of your limits." - Robin Sharma Do you ever wonder why you stumble on new things?  Do you ever wonder why unsuspecting strangers cross your path? Do you ever wonder why your mind takes you to a direction you didn't think exist? I was walking to StarBucks to meet my husband when I noticed a sign...

Still shaky, skidded in snow, but so blessed my guardian angels are looking after me!

"Never again wonder, what to be thankful for..."   - Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life It’s yet another snowy day in New Jersey. Beautiful, yes but dangerous! In line with my goal for this month is to get back on schedule. I got up around 4am to get my 15yo ready for his Model United Nations conference. (Thankful that our neighbor offered to drive him to school by 5:30am ) I got my 9yo ready for school and I'm thankful that my other neighbor offered to drive him to school. I then drove my husband to the train station to Manhattan. I decided to stop by the Community Center and decided to run a fast 5K on the treadmill. I was 1 mile short because I was so sweaty and hot. (Note to self: dress lightly next time) While cooling down inside the car, I read Day 14’s chapter of Rick Warren's the “Purpose Driven Life” book. I felt really good because it just reminded me that there is always something to be thankful for no matter how awful yo