GottaLoveMom

Summer means family time and if you live in New Jersey chances are you and your family will spend a few days at the Jersey Shore . Last Friday was Day 1 of our family's Jersey Shore Summer Expedition. In preparing for a few hours at the beach, I packed the following: beach chairs, umbrella, towels, mat, sun block, insect repellant, water bottles, snacks, brim hat, change of clothes and a book. However, I forgot to pack the kids' boogie boards.

I was out for a run when I saw this image.   It was a striking image that I stopped and cried because it reminded me that we are all different but in our own unique ways, we're special. It also reminded me the hope Spring brings. Everyday is a new beginning. I was feeling lost --   sort of.   I forgot how to express myself, to focus, to be at peace. My father passed away 20 days ago. He was sick for 5 long years and the past 5 months, his body deteriorated.  

I have a very serious neuropathic sense of fear. Bad experiences leave a permanent imprint on my brain but being a mother of 4 leaves no room for being afraid. 16 years ago, my family and I went skiing. I don't like the cold weather. I hike mountains. I wear flip flops.

 My third child, Jonathon , is our Piano Man. Almost 9 years ago, after thousands of hours of practice, Jonathon, who was 10 at that time,   took the stage at one of the talent shows at his Middle School, and for the next five minutes captivated the audience with a powerhouse rendition of Billy Joel’s classic “Piano Man”. He sang and at times played the trademark harmonica fills while playing the keys. The crowd gave him a rousing standing O. And I was in tears   -- from joy and pride. When asked about that night, my son commented, “It was the greatest five minutes of my life. I was in shock, and it’s hard to describe what it is about the experience that makes it so incredible. It’s not just the rush, but more about the deep connection with the audience. It just felt very liberating, like when I’m performing, that’s when I am most connected with the music. I knew I wanted to spend my life doing this.”   Ever since then, we've been trying to get a hold...

 I lost something and I needed to get it back. It had been a tough few weeks. My mind was onto something unpleasant. No matter how much I tried to mask it, my heart was heavy for reasons I couldn't put my finger on. Whatever happened to A New Year, a new beginning? Maybe it was the hormones. I'm turning 50 in less than 6 months, and   my body had been screaming for the past 3 years. Maybe it was the freezing temperature. After two warm winters in New Jersey , we're finally experiencing winter once more. I had forgotten what winter was like and my Filipino bones couldn't figured out how to adjust my inner temperature. Maybe it was the possibility of being "ill". Biopsies and lab tests had a way of making me feel anxious. Maybe it was the uncertainty of what the future has in store for me and my family. Maybe it was just something I had to go through. I needed to complain. I needed to cry. I needed to ....WALK. ...