Being there for each other

Thursday, March 19, 2009

As we promised “For better or for worst”, being married is to be there for each other.
There are times that you have to listen and not say anything – just hear each other out.
There are times that all you have to do is walk quietly hand-in-hand.
There are times that you have to wait for the perfect time – think before you say anything.

I’ve had plenty of challenges and my husband’s always been there for me. He’s always been the one that keeps reminding me to see the opportunity in every challenges.

So yesterday, when I got a text from my husband …

"Honey – I had a very bad day and I’m very upset with myself. I am going to take a walk."

I dropped everything that’s on my schedule that day and made sure I am there for him.

Of course, the “worry-me” is thinking of the worst!

As I get to the house, my husband’s already in the driveway with his sneakers, hat, sunglasses and headphones (listening to the radio). At least he looks handsome!

I asked my boys to watch each other because I need to walk with Daddy. I grabbed my ipod since I may be just staring at the pathway thinking of the worst! I just have to get my mind into something else like Styx’s “Come sailing away(Oh what would I do without music?)
We were walking for blocks and blocks... I was so tempted to ask him but in these scenarios – it is better to be quiet and hopefully soon – he’d want to talk about his “very bad day”.

As we were walking hand-in-hand and quietly listening to each music/radio station, Prince’s KISS played on my ipod so I started dancing while walking! This broke the silence because my husband laughed.

This then gave me a chance to ask him “So, do you want to tell me anything?”I really meant to ask, “So how bad is it?” –
Thank goodness for the long walk, I was able to replay the conversation in my head before it actually transpired! Otherwise, any wrong word can trigger a very negative effect.

Husbands play a very tough role – in a different way. Wives and mothers play a very tough role, too. But men are not like us, women. They have a lot of pride - the pride that makes them great men!

It’s tough for them to lose especially when they’re truly smart, successful, analytical and systematic. All of a sudden a small failed transaction is not just a decrease in their monetary assets, it also a deduction in their intelligence, skills, abilities and ambition! They feel like they let us down.

My husband's been my rock - my source of positive attitude in my so called life. He's the one who's always there to listen to my every complaints, whine and craziness – and believe me I had plenty!

So as we walked for 90 minutes, I listened and tried to reassure him that –
“ It wasn’t really that bad. Tomorrow’s another day – another chance. “
He just felt really awful. So I reminded him that he was batting 6 out eight.
Six good days out of 8 days… This is all part of the learning process.
Think of it as payment for the seminar or training class!”
- Stuff that he already knows in his head, but hearing it from me makes it easier.

As we were ending our walk, I saw a shadow of him and I walking. I always carry my small digi-cam so I asked him if I can take a picture of our shadow –
and he said , “No conversation left unexploited?”
And I smiled and said, “Well, you’re married to GottaLoveMom, it’s for theMotherhood!And as we pass by the mill and the river, he took my camera and took pictures and I can tell that he feels better already.

Photos - Cranford, NJ

Copyright 2009 © GottaLoveMom CJ Solutions, Inc Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited

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